Love is fleetingThe first time I saw him, he was holding a Pabst Blue Ribbon at a frat party. He winked at me and within 5 minutes we were grinding on the dance floor. The night swept past in a blur, as Rusty introduced me to so many things. Jungle juice in the bath tub, beer bongs, smoking weed from a beer can and the loudest burp contest.
I wish I had remembered it better. It was hard to focus with his six pack bulging under his white, net tank top. I stole glances as his neon green parachute pants accentuated his palpable ass cheeks. The passion grew and burned within my loins like a flaming, golden hawk. When he drove me home it was obvious the attraction was mutual. In a turn of events that would forever change my life, we consummated our relationship in the back of his 67' Mustang while White snake blared on the Pioneer speakers.
Later we would lie on the hood sipping from a bottle of Blue Moon Riesling. We told stories of our youth and complained about people with really bushy eyebrows.
Years later I would be shocked to see his name on the Glenn Beck fan page. It was like a jack-in-the box jumping out, slamming into my eyes, and detaching my retinas. Like when the outside pocket of your back pack comes unzipped and is just flopping there. That is what it would be like with the retinas.
I was very hopeful that he had been able to overcome his parents indoctrinations of hate and intolerance. The same views that had ripped us apart prematurely so many years ago. I had sat with him on his parents nagahyde couch during our first meeting. After Rusty had told them where I was from, the blood drained from their faces. They looked at me, they looked at him, then at each other. This went on so long that I dozed off.
I awoke to Rusty gently shaking my shoulder. "We have to leave, NOW" he purred in my ear. He hurriedly helped peel me off the couch, and escorted me from the house while I begged him to explain what was wrong. When he finally told me I was speechless. "I'm just one little person living in a state full of people and some of those people aren't nice! I cried. I've never even SEEN a skinhead Aryan!" I guess I was not speechless.
No matter, he would not hear it. He deposited me at my apartment and I didn't see him again. Imagine my anguish when many years later, I discovered my first love Rusty had not only embraced his parents views, but used them to mock me relentlessly. I shall never get over the love we once had. My heart bleeds real blood and my head feels as if it is made of lead. Since the head is already really heavy you can imagine how that feels. It made me glad I had spilled an entire package of m&ms down his defroster vents in that Mustang.
If only the hurts could be repaired and regenerated like a human cell. LIke when white blood cells and cells that ingest bacteria move to the wound site to kill the microorganisms that cause infection, so I wish for the healing of the wounds in my heart.