The Idiot's Guide To Marriage

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Some funny jokes a friend emailed to me:

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)


2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)


3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)


4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)


5. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

6. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)


Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart !
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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt, Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma '

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,

'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'


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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor


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Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manua

1 comment(s):

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By Blogger Valeria Diego, at 6:32 PM  

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