The Idiot's Guide To Marriage

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I just ate a large wallet

Oh my lord, I am so remiss with this blog. You would think I would pay more attention to it, what with the lack of employment I am currently experiencing. But alas, I have other things I have been doing such as:

Smelling my hair
Buying new hair products
Listening to the same song over and over
Causing trouble
Looking out the window at hawt firemen
Feeling weird
Looking weird
Being weird

OK that's enough, I think you get the picture, and if you don't then lord help you.

Damn, I got some new shampoo and my hair smells really good ;)

OK, I have been thinking lately about marriage and if I perchance would ever want to indulge in that again. I thought and thought...and then I thought FUCK NO.

And you want to know why I thought that?

Good, just think on it because if it doesn't come to you immediately then you need electric shock therapy.

I don't enjoy being commanded about, told what to do and how to do it and being resented. Ooopsssss did I say that out loud? About the Lords Sacred Marriage Covenant? Oh my!! I can feel the flames of hell licking at my heels!

I mean what sort of deluded person does not want to engage in holy matrimony. I must be insane. But we already knew that.

While the benefits of HM ( holy matrimony) are plentiful, the call of the single life is creating ambivalence within my person. And for benefits, I can think mainly of monetary benefits. It gets a little old trying to support yourself when you keep getting fired for being too smart or too hot. It gets a little old trying to scrounge up personal possessions around the house to sell on Ebay to make the rent. Sometimes I wonder...what would it be like if I just relented and found myself a sugar daddy? Well, I could either find myself an old guy with money (wrinkly dick) or a younger guy with not as much money that wants me to produce approximately 2 offspring for every year of our marriage.

I am so confused, you have no idea.
I need to make another amazing analogy about marriage.
I'm seriously going to think on this and get back here and do that.
Please stand by whilst I do the noodle dance!!!

Love ya
Over and out

1 comment(s):


Where's my invitation? :)

By Blogger Fred, at 9:10 AM  

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