The Idiot's Guide To Marriage

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Marriage of the Mind

What is it with married couples that won't spend independent time? It's healthy to have seperate hobbies, friends and such. Even an idiot knows that it's not good to hang out with each other 24/7. so why do so many idiots do it.

Let's try and reconcile our minds together, so that we can be "as one"

for men:
Why do you have to act so stupid?

for women:
why do you have to act so helpless?

ok the end.

or maybe how about some marriage catch phrases:

Dutch Oven
Pushin Cotton
Prairie Doggin it
monkey got crack
aunt Flo's in town
Little red devil's here
droppin trowel
grapes of wrath
tube socks with sand in them
the other OTHER white meat

who wants to guess what all these mean?

i'm just totally rambling here, not making sense is what I do best

8 comment(s):

Why to us dudes have to be so stupid? Honest, it always SEEMS LIKE a good idea to do stuff that later proves itself to be stupid. Like giving a chick a vacuum cleaner as a present. BAD IDEA! Even if she does need a new one. Or seeing a cliff and thinking "it would be fun to ride a bike off that cliff". BAD IDEA! But in each case, it seems at first to be a good idea.

Your list contains some mysteries for me. I knew what a lot of them meant, there were one or two that I had to use urban dictionary for, and two or three that are still a mystery. It seems more than one of the things in the list involve pooping. I never thought this would be a big deal in a marriage. Everyone poops after all.

By Blogger The Lazy Iguana, at 11:52 PM  

Men are stupid. Women are helpless. Hmmmm, next time, go in with a different script.

By Blogger Matt, at 8:04 AM  

dutch oven- this is cruel. farting and trapping your loved one under the blankets.

pushing cotton- gotta poop!

Prairie Doggin it- this is nasty! gotta poop so bad its peeking out!

peekin- hmmm... same as above?

monkey got crack- HMMM, you probably mean ass crack sticking out- you are annoyed by crack. however, monkey crack is shitty maryjane.

aunt Flo's in town- duh! period
Little red devil's here- same as above

droppin trowel- to quit working, go on strike

grapes of wrath- *gasp* "Its when a guy beats a girl in her face with his nutsack, after bad sex." ... or hemmroids.

tube socks with sand in them-Old, skinny, hanging breasts.

the other OTHER white meat- babies (fat bastard)

did i win?

By Blogger Lavender, at 8:39 AM  

lazy: the list makes no sense in regards to marriage, i'm stretching for writing material!

matt: this is the idiots guide, remember?

dawn: you win, you win!!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:50 AM  

You seem a little bitter, here. Let's talk.

By Blogger Redneck Nerdboy!, at 3:11 PM  

I thought "grapes of wrath" may be the same thing as dingleberries. But I guess I was wrong there!

Speaking of "dingleberries" you can now add "skid marks" to your list.

By Blogger The Lazy Iguana, at 3:27 PM  


The only time I find myself acting stupid is when I see two women walking a breast and I make some stupid comment about the breast.

By Blogger Senor Caiman, at 6:58 PM  

Yay! I won! I won!

By Blogger Lavender, at 6:19 AM  

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