The Idiot's Guide To Marriage

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Baby Got Crack

This is blurry because I had an armload of stuff, trying to take the picture while walking behind him. But you can see his bare asscrack. For the sweet love of mother hen, pull up your damn pants, and save us from making more "crack kills" posters.

Guess where this was? that's right.

A question for married people who read this, or whomever. Did the ass part of the spouse get bigger as they got older, and if so did you notice and if so did you care?

which do you prefer, the flat ass affect, or the rounded ass affect.

12 comment(s):

There is this joke gift called "ass crack spackle". It comes in a plastic bucket. Inside the bucket is a small container of plater that one can use to "fill in" the crack - and a t-shirt with an extra super long tail so that it never becomes un-tucked.

I do not suffer from this affliction. I have a somewhat small frame, and so far have managed to keep the fatty bulges to a minimum. Not that I am Mr. Health Nut who has to flex all the time and looks like some roided up roid monkey with huge veins popping up all over the place and generally looking like some oiled up space creature that can not reach behind to wipe myself. Seriously - can those "Mr. Universe" types wipe? I have my doubts. But whatever. No crack here.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:17 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Blogger Badoozie, at 9:28 AM  

those mr universe types have bimbos who wipe for them. do you have a bimbo mr lazy? if not, i know where you can find one. WALMART

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:29 AM  

What isle do I look in for those bimbos? And what is the return policy? 30 days for a full refund, or is there a 15% restocking fee?

I think some of those Mr. Universe guys have "bimbos" named Fred. Guys who spend more time in the gym, with other guys, using up GALLONS of body oil....I am just saying that is a little suspicious.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:08 PM  


You know I call it like I see it. I'm also a terrible speller. Cellulite is not acceptable. I start to shake when I try to spell that word. It's very scary.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:32 PM  

I'll sometimes leave the house w/o wearing a belt and the jeans I bought in the african american section of the store will be drooping a bit.

The worst is discovering that your fly is open hours after you leave the house.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:50 AM  

Now I see what I'm missing by refusing to shop at Walmart.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:33 PM  

Wow..I like your new picture. You have beautiful hair.

By Blogger Mr. Fabulous, at 5:31 PM  

you should have smacked that ass.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:01 AM  

Are you surprised it's at Walmart? Haha! Now, Macy's... that would be surprising!

By Blogger Redneck Nerdboy!, at 3:24 PM  

Hey lady,

I see the men haven't really answered your question about asses. Although Senor Caiman seems to have responded in a rather unchivalrous manner, still not quite answering the question.

To quote a comedian I heard recently, as he was addressing the concept of the tattoo just above a woman's ass. He says, "The Female ass is beautiful. It needs no adornment. If I'm back there, I'm happy!"

As for cellulite, I know all women have it (or most anyway) at least to some degree, whether they are skinny or not. I know a girl who is a size one and she's quite flabby. She's a beaut with her clothes on. But she can't seem to get a man to bed more than a few times. Whereas I'm fit as a fiddle and fabulous! I have a great ass and I mean GREAT, and I have more men after me than I can shake a stick at! I'm reading a book written by two men and they advise women to just stop fretting about such things and know themselves to be the gorgeous creatures they are. Men love confidence and approachability above all else.

Here's to hoping more men will answer.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:10 PM  

I am in shape, not a shape lol. But I do perfer a bug butt myself and yes my wifes has gottne bigger since we first meet. But I likem round, so that is a pluse for me haha.

By Blogger honkeie2, at 6:58 AM  

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