The Idiot's Guide To Marriage

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Top Ten Turnoffs for Men

1. Women who have dogs that wear pink coats with fur collars
2. talking too much; and not shutting up when your eyes glaze over
3. granny panties and getting those granny panties in a wad
4. flowered deco in the bedroom
5. she looks like her mom, and that aint good
6. asks too many questions
7. uni-brow
8. Braided armpit hair
9. liberal use of monostat 7
10. owning the corner market on clingtardmania




Ok, and i saw the movie The Holiday, and it's a bunch of romantic stuff, so if you're not into that don't go.

This could be a turnoff...Today I was bored, so I pointed the airsoft pistol at the dog and said "say your prayers clown!", then I shot to the left of him. He did not even flinch. But he did however look at me as if i'm deficient. I think he is right.

PS. there were no dogs harmed in the above discussed event nor anywhere even close to being hurt, however there is a little nick out of the wall.

another note my son was not home to witness this horrible example from me. i would never do something like this in front of my son. He is under the impression i'm a respectable citizen, hence my other blog. it's a decoy.

8 comment(s):

What happened to the disclaimer??

Ok, any of these would probably send me running for the nearest exit. And I'm serious as a heart attack. There is another turnoff that I place high on my list. Is she married?? Usually not a good sign.

Since I'm here babbling away anyway, I have a question. If I were to link you on my blog (I'm not saying I am, but if I were gonna), which one should I link. Would it be appropriate to list both if they were separated sufficiently not to arouse suspicion? If only one, which? The decoy, which is, by the way, HI-LARIOUS, or this, the real one - also witty but on a much different level.

Mike

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:36 PM  

mike, i think people were coming here, and seeing the disclaimer, with the date, and missing this post? so i took it down until i can figure out what to do.

now on the linking thing. that is a good question. saur has me linked on both. hasn't seemed to cause a problem. the thing is, i think the 'family' in question only reads my blog, and not all of the people i have linked. so it should be safe.

thanks for the compliments!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:35 AM  

u b linked...x2

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:50 AM  

Yeah, we all know better.

:)

By Blogger Redneck Nerdboy!, at 10:48 AM  

I would hope that, given the differing levels in age and sophistication, that you continue to outsmart your son for at least a couple of more years. ;)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:24 PM  

didn't you like the Holiday? It helped me understand breakups better. Plus I like all the actors/resses

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:40 PM  

redneck: ohhhh, you're too sweet to me

matt: lets hope, but he is fast getting to know me...BUT i have that whole devious, shrewd thing going on that comes from years of having to deal with pathological liars, and jerkwads.....so lets just say he doesn't get away with much.

emmers i did like it, but it made me cry because i just thought i'd never have anything......because there are no happy endings in my life.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:15 AM  

Air soft hmmmmm....you also forgot to mention women with bad teeth

By Blogger honkeie2, at 7:28 PM  

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