The Idiot's Guide To Marriage

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Top Ten Turnoffs for Men

1. Women who have dogs that wear pink coats with fur collars
2. talking too much; and not shutting up when your eyes glaze over
3. granny panties and getting those granny panties in a wad
4. flowered deco in the bedroom
5. she looks like her mom, and that aint good
6. asks too many questions
7. uni-brow
8. Braided armpit hair
9. liberal use of monostat 7
10. owning the corner market on clingtardmania

Ok, and i saw the movie The Holiday, and it's a bunch of romantic stuff, so if you're not into that don't go.

This could be a turnoff...Today I was bored, so I pointed the airsoft pistol at the dog and said "say your prayers clown!", then I shot to the left of him. He did not even flinch. But he did however look at me as if i'm deficient. I think he is right.

PS. there were no dogs harmed in the above discussed event nor anywhere even close to being hurt, however there is a little nick out of the wall.

another note my son was not home to witness this horrible example from me. i would never do something like this in front of my son. He is under the impression i'm a respectable citizen, hence my other blog. it's a decoy.

8 comment(s):

What happened to the disclaimer??

Ok, any of these would probably send me running for the nearest exit. And I'm serious as a heart attack. There is another turnoff that I place high on my list. Is she married?? Usually not a good sign.

Since I'm here babbling away anyway, I have a question. If I were to link you on my blog (I'm not saying I am, but if I were gonna), which one should I link. Would it be appropriate to list both if they were separated sufficiently not to arouse suspicion? If only one, which? The decoy, which is, by the way, HI-LARIOUS, or this, the real one - also witty but on a much different level.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:36 PM  

mike, i think people were coming here, and seeing the disclaimer, with the date, and missing this post? so i took it down until i can figure out what to do.

now on the linking thing. that is a good question. saur has me linked on both. hasn't seemed to cause a problem. the thing is, i think the 'family' in question only reads my blog, and not all of the people i have linked. so it should be safe.

thanks for the compliments!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:35 AM  

u b linked...x2

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:50 AM  

Yeah, we all know better.


By Blogger Redneck Nerdboy!, at 10:48 AM  

I would hope that, given the differing levels in age and sophistication, that you continue to outsmart your son for at least a couple of more years. ;)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:24 PM  

didn't you like the Holiday? It helped me understand breakups better. Plus I like all the actors/resses

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:40 PM  

redneck: ohhhh, you're too sweet to me

matt: lets hope, but he is fast getting to know me...BUT i have that whole devious, shrewd thing going on that comes from years of having to deal with pathological liars, and lets just say he doesn't get away with much.

emmers i did like it, but it made me cry because i just thought i'd never have anything......because there are no happy endings in my life.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:15 AM  

Air soft also forgot to mention women with bad teeth

By Blogger honkeie2, at 7:28 PM  

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