The Idiot's Guide To Marriage

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Show Stoppin

Ok, enough moping...gotta get off my duff and start writing again.
I was thinking about something today, and I need some input. It would seem as if I get gawked at a bit by men. Now, while people would ask why this is a bad thing, you must understand....that I don't understand. I supposed, in my own right, I don't feel I am really that great to be gawking at?

I'm not a scrawny little young thing anymore. I'm nearly 40, and I wear a size 10. Yes, I have a nice enough rack, but its not that huge, at least not that I would think. So what is it, in a woman, or how she presents herself, that brings, not just glances...but gawking.

Is there something I'm missing here? Is it more than a body, is it personality as well? Do I have some look on my face? Is there a pheromone I'm putting off? I've been called a lot of things by people if they do not know me personally. They will tell me later, after they see that I'm a nice person, they thought I was a stuck up snot when they met me.

I wish they did not think this...and would realize, that when I'm out and about, I'm usually either deep in thought, or observing and thinking. In which case, there might be a slight frown on my face, or one brow will be raised. I don't intend to come off as arrogant...but well, what do you do.

It makes for some challenges, in the work place and other social settings. I have to make an extra effort with women especially. They are not nice to me, they shun me, and they will simply ignore me if I do not make the effort to go up and get to know them. Work is especially challenging, as I seem to threaten and intimidate other women, so end up having to try and fade into the background. It's annoying.

So men..and women if you will, what do you think about the hottness factor? What do you think of a woman who is confident with herself. Is that a bad thing? Do you think its socially acceptable for a woman to feel confident with her looks or do you think she comes off as arrogant?

What draws your glance toward a woman?



21 comment(s):

As a man, what catches my attention first is a nice face.
If a lady had a happy face, nice smile, maybe being comfortable about her looks, then I find that attractive.
You said it first, but a nice rack helps.
Seriously, I never find the perfect woman the most attractive, but usually the happiest one.

By Blogger riskybiz, at 7:00 PM  

HEY, long time no read.

Just from the picture, I can see how you can look snobby. Take away the smile and raise an eyebrow, and you look condecending. I think. I would need to see it in person, but I think thats right.

There's nothing wrong with being intimidating though.

And if you're wearing slutty outfits, then maybe that's why they're gawking. Please don't stop though, and send pics :)

By Blogger slopmaster, at 9:16 PM  

I've noticed that when I'm smiling, EVERYONE gawks, men and women alike. I do believe it is the way in which you carry yourself, for the most part, which attracts the looks.

Men have always gawked at me and it used to confuse me, too. I had similar thoughts to yours. I've come to understand that it has to do with an overall look rather than looking like the latest hot model/pop singer/actress.

Size 10? Are you seriously using that number as if it were a big number? I haven't been a size ten since I was about twelve! Double that and you might be close to my size!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:47 AM  

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By Blogger Badoozie, at 7:53 AM  

riskybiz: hey, thanks for visiting and for your feedback

sloppness: uh, slutty....i'm not sure if you'd consider it slutty, my clothing fits well, i might show a little cleavage....

cattyT very interesting...i agree. i need to try and be smily more, i'm usually deep in thought

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:54 AM  

Okay, here's my take. And I'm a vasty different type of guy than the average football lovin', beer drinkin' guy who looks at women for just one thing or another, so this should be interesting.

Women are the power in this world, the energy force that makes this feminine Earth rotate and keeps the balance of humanity. Period. You just are. Men provide the seed, but women are the real shakers and movers of this world. You bear children, let emotion flow, and make things happen whether you know it or not. Even if you feel like you don't make anything happen and your life's at a stand still, you don't realize the power you have inside you that makes the world around you what it is without your knowledge!

So, with that in mind, I find ALL women who take care of themselves to be attractive, because if you take care of yourself, then you have self-respect, and respect of all things merely follows that. That is the sign of a healthy, beautiful woman to me.

Skin means nothing to me. Nor does breast size, ass curve or all that mean anything. How she dresses, doesn't matter how much or little she has on, is very important. If she dresses nicely or comfortably, uses scarves if she loves them, hats, or shoes or whatever she loves most, then she obviously knows what she wants and I love that. If she just dresses in mismatched stuff or near-rags and shows that she doesn't really put a whole lot of time into her appearance, she probably doesn't like herself very much and that's not cool.

Without that self-respect, if you beat yourself down or let a man do it for you, or think you're ugly and as a result treat yourself as if you're ugly, then you will be. That's just a law of Nature and no man will want you to have his children.

That's my take on women. Now, in my particular case, I have two fetishes that I've had since I was little that add spice to my otherwise general overview of woman as completely beautiful.

Physically, I love their feet over every other part of their bodies. Just as most men are breast men or ass men, I'm a foot man. And there are many things you can tell about a woman by how she displays her feet. What kind of shoes she wears, does she dangle her shoe from her toes when crossing them, does she play with her shoes under a table at a restaurant, etc. I can read volumes about what a woman's mind is saying just by how she uses her feet alone. And every foot is beautiful to me, every shape and size. So long as they take care of them, I know they love them and so do I.

The other is psychological, I love the feeling of being tickled by women. It's fun, it feels good and it's attention from them that is both innocent and sexy at the same time! Not too intrusive, but very memorable and oh, soooo energizing! Perfect for me!

I put all these components together in my mind:

1. Beauty of self-respect and how they take care of themselves and their appearance outwardly.

2. How they display their feet, even if they don't know it.

3. Does she like to tickle, even just for an instant from behind the one she gooses as kind of a surprise? If so, she's playful and fun and I will most likely enjoy being with her.

From what I've seen of you Qz-girl, when you frown or are thinking, you do put off the appearance that you are on a mission to kick someone's ass. I've seen lots of pics of you with that thoughtful or flat look, and your eyelids fall about an eighth of the way down your eyes and you look as if you are about to breath fire if the camera doesn't get out of your face right that very second!

But when you smile... good God almighty. Your ENTIRE personna just lightens and it looks as if the sun itself is right behind you.

That's why I've been asking you to smile more in your pictures that you present. And as a friend of yours, I feel I can tell you that without worrying if I've pissed you off.

Men will look, because biologically that's what we're designed to do. Scope the crowd for healthy, wonderful women whom we can bear children with and procreate. And when we do tend to look, at least for me, I look for those three things that I mentioned above.

That... to me... is a beautiful woman.

Always!
Jas...

By Blogger Redneck Nerdboy!, at 9:16 AM  

ok I am a big dork!! this whole time "QZ" is badoozie? what? I am confused....help :)

I think guys look at anything resembling a female form. My boyfriend looks at every girl - not because he's interested but because, as he explains it, it's naturally ingrained in men to look at women. He glances at them, then moves on....strange?

By Blogger sassyglass, at 9:19 AM  

Personally I'm more attracted to a woman with NO CONFIDENCE. You know, the weirdo inthe back of the room that's not talking to anyone, has a sort of crappy senseof style and a hairdo that's "so last year."

But then...I myself am kinda weird...so...who knows. ;)

Steve~

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:49 AM  

Haha! Steve. You kill me brotherman!

Sassyglass, I know what your boyfriend is talking about. It's the same ingrained thing that makes us look at fancy cars. Same exact thing for us. We see something pretty, we look at it.

By Blogger Redneck Nerdboy!, at 12:31 PM  

rednecker: i'm not upset with you, i like your words, i can count on you to be upfront and honest...and yes i'm working on the look on my face, you are exactly right i do believe....i need to keep the old smiles a comin

sassy: your not stupid..i was hiding it from my ex...i'm not exactly hiding anymore, but i don't want my mom over here, if that makes sense?

steven: i think the fact you are attracted to those types is very encouraging to me, because all women have their own ways, and beauty in their own right, and i'm sure your not the nerd you portray..lol..

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:16 PM  

As a chicky, I notice a smile, but height first. I don't notice much else unless body parts are LITERALLY hanging out or some MAJOR fashion problem, (like 50 year old in a mini-skirt and belly top..yikes)

By Blogger EmmaSometimes, at 4:04 PM  

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By Blogger EmmaSometimes, at 4:05 PM  

and confident women are sexy..period, no matter her size or age.

as for gawking, it's fact that men are sight-oriented in general. Women gawk at other women to be catty, size up, see who looks better. I think it's insecurities that drives women to do that.

Okay, I'm done now. :o)

By Blogger EmmaSometimes, at 4:09 PM  

I stare at any women with bit tits, even if she is 80!

I have no problem with cocky people, but I don't like people who think they are better than you for whatever reason.

By Blogger Big Ben, at 4:56 PM  

There's nothing wrong with confidence as long as it isn't overbearing. Personally, I think way too many women are too concerned about what they look like in both good and bad ways.

Just be yourself, that's the sexy thing.

By Blogger Omnipotent Poobah, at 8:38 PM  

Okay, first of all, forget about that "size 10" thing. The idea that a woman becomes more beautiful the closer her measurements come to "O" is an absurdity promoted by the fashion industry and , sadly, women themselves. But Marilyn Monroe, the sexiest woman ever, was a size sixteen, and research shows that proportion is more important to men that skinniness is (a Coke bottle is said to embody the perfect female form, proportion-wise).
Never having seen you walk by, I cant say how confident you look, but I do think that confidence is important (confidence or comfort with yourself). Plus, you've got long flowing hair and freckles, which I think men like a lot but never think to put on a list when they're making one. Maybe that's it.
Or maybe you conduct yourself around without artifice, a quality more and more rare these in these days of plastic surgery and plastic lifestyles. Again though, cant tell, never seen you go by.

Personally, I love a confident woman (though if it moves into bossiness that's annoying, but really, confidence and bossiness arent truly related). As for the nasty women, well, maybe they sense that you are the kind of person with the ovum to ask, "do these pants make me look fat?" (because, really, that's what this post is), and they're jealous.

By Blogger daveawayfromhome, at 10:53 PM  

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By Blogger Badoozie, at 10:45 AM  

emma: i agree, i think you might be right, but other women see a confident woman as a threat for sure

bigben: yes we know....poor big ben...boobyben

omnipotent: i wonder why we need to be so pre-occupied with our looks

dave: i think you made some great points, thanks for stopping by and adding. i've heard the freckle thing from a few men? and its funny cause i hated my freckles all my life, but apparently for no good reason...lol...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:45 AM  

Well, with a face like that you could have a tree stump for a body.

I try not to gawk too much b/c I'm a little more aware of all that that entails. My last girlfriend was what I refer to as "modelecular." Her body put lingerie models to shame and it drove me nuts to see men staring at her or making comments like, "You got lucky."

Studies suggest that women look more attractive when they're ovulating but there are other non-immutable traits that factor in, such as "attitude" and style of dress. A beautiful woman might do herself a disservice by hitting the town wearing basketball sneakers. The other day I saw a woman who wasn't that attractive but she was dressed really nicely and seemed like she had her shit together: I liked her just for that. The way she presented herself.

But you know something? Sometimes I'll stare at a person just because they're ugly. :)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:59 AM  

As a man it is the tits.....sorry I am a man/pig. But once that is out of the way I must say you are an over all beautiful woman. Size 10....please I likem a little bigger. Real woman have curves damn it. And yes women will feel intimidated by you. Another hen in the hen house ring a bell? Women that are insecure about themselves will pic on the pretty ones, it happened in grade school, high school and it happens in the cubical life as well.
Hell you are almost 40, could have fooled me. I am sure the women of your are bracket cannt hold a candle to you in the looks department so another bullet in their belt of petty trifling bittterness. The are over weight, under loved and lonley...and here u come making them look even worse in their mom jeans and moo-moos.
One more....its late and I need some sleep lol.....a smile. If a woamen smiles at me I will always smile back, I know I am flirting with death but I am just a flirt at heart.
-Note:
You will never catch me qawking....I wear dark shades and never move my neck. Its a well learned trick of the married man.

By Blogger honkeie2, at 4:15 AM  

I am a size 18, and i remember being a ten and thinking I was fat! I would love to be a size 10 again, heck, I will settle for 12 or 14. I have an ass like a black woman, seriously! consider yourself so lucky that you get stares. I don't dress nice or wear make up, or do anything with my hair. I really think these things matter, and you are always polished looking. That is my 5 cents!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:26 AM  

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