The Idiot's Guide To Marriage

Saturday, September 09, 2006


I'm posting exact words from yahoo personals profiles. So we will now commence to making shameless fun of the "less fortunate" amongst us. First out of the chute, we have a wonderful man, who is a spelltard. I pasted this directly in, so this is seriously what it said.

Intro line: loocking soil mate

Description: i love to spend time with my kids. like to hunt/fish. campping. going too the cost walking on the betch with some one nice

OH MY GOSH what woman in her right mind would reply to this?

Intro line: big teddy bear wild lion
Descr: love the outdoors love to cook like boating fishing hunting an just kick back an watch good shows.. don't like the bar scenes that much love animals cats dogs horses goats etc. always willing to try new things not jumping out of a plane thou.....

HE LOVES GOATS. nuff said

intro: big hearted man seeks companion

please stop shouting at us. we get it already. you rule.

here's one from a nice lady:
"Looking for some TLC wanting to be spoiled :). I own my own place its a trailer but mine, and my son's. My daughter lives next door in my other trailer. I have a lot of pet's, 6 dogs and 3 cats, plus fish and turtles. I enjoy camping, boating, working on cars, riding horses, playing darts, shooting pool, swimming, watching movies and cuddling.
The man I'm looking for is honest, caring, doesn't play head games, nor cheats in a relationship. He would like doing out door things as well as having quite times alone at home. Who can handle a warped since of humor. If this sounds something like you then drop me a line back."

Ya think she's a little rough around the edges? and YOU didn't even see her pictures. I bet it smells real GOOD in her trailer.

and here is one for the record books. This gal had two pics up. Guess she didn't think anyone would notice. I copied her descrp from each profile. Do you really think she's THAT into honesty?

Intro: honesty and reality

first one: I am a single mom with a toddler and a baby due in september, i am tires of lies and games, I am still recovering from a bad relationship and right now i am looking for a friend.

second one: I am an overweight mother of 5, recently abandoned after a 2 year relationship and raising 2 teen boys and 1 year old daughter on my own,Iam just looking for friendship, someone to talk to and do fun things with. someone who is content to just stay at home watching dvd's and talking.

i can't believe that. someone is really playing games. you thought i was bad.

11 comment(s):

Nothing like a soil mate to help with the gardening.

By Blogger Fred, at 5:33 PM  

Shoot, you read my ads and never called?

I'm a slightly different form.

By Blogger JTullGuy, at 6:49 PM  

Don't hate us goat lovers!!

Its pretty crazy what's out there. These people are walking around in trailor parks and downtowns all over the world! I like how honest the women were though.

By Blogger slopmaster, at 6:48 AM  

Oh, how sad!

By Blogger Leslee, at 7:56 AM  

So glad I don't have to read the ads to find a guy! Mine was thrown out of a moving bus and I picked him up! Well worth it too! He is a keeper!

By Blogger SteppingUp, at 7:29 AM  

5 kids is a bit much. Nothing says a good relationship like "recently abandoned".

By Blogger Big Ben, at 5:25 PM  

Well then. You live in quite the interesting little community, dontcha?

Don't get me wrong, we have our mutants here, too.

I had a horrific dating experience recently, that was actually quite hillarious. I'll have to write about it some time. The guy's profile read well, the pics looked nice. He looked like a nice, easy going guy. But the guy who showed up at the restaurant was at least 10 years older and heavier, to boot.

By Blogger Saur♥Kraut, at 6:30 AM  

I'm not sure I could even fill one of these profile tell-us-about-yourself things at all! I would just put down my blog address and let the girl decide from there! Haha! May not have many takers though.

By Blogger Redneck Nerdboy!, at 1:32 PM  

Yeah, it's pretty rough out there!

I never could figure. Is it really so hard to type the word "quiet" correctly?

I actually had a couple contact me, wanting someone to come and help take care of the kids and the house (wife was sickly) and then "service" the husband, and sometimes the wife, if she wanted it. They even included pictures of their very unattractive selves. I was so intrigued by this couple, I questioned them extensively. I said, "so are you gonna provide this person with room and board?" "No," they said. They can't afford that. I said, "Are you going to at least fly the person there to live with you?" No. they can't afford that either. I said, "So you just want to find someone to do this out of the kindness of their heart? Well let me tell you, I have a pretty kind heart, but NO ONE is that kind!" They live in Oregon. If anyone is interested, I can see if I can locate the number again. ;)

By Blogger cathouse teri, at 6:19 AM  

OK, today I just posted the dating experience that I mentioned earlier here. The guy qualified for AARP, for cripes sake.

By Blogger Saur♥Kraut, at 7:08 AM  

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By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:33 PM  

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