Romance KillersCertain things should just not be done. There need be nothing more said about it. Besides this..........
Skidmarks in your underwear. Use babywipes. If they are stained, throw them away. For gods sake, you spend more on beer, coffee etc in one day than a package of underwear costs.
Teeth; brush the damn things, more than once a week. No one wants to kiss someone whose teeth have moss growing on them. If you can't remember to brush, keep a toothbrush in the shower because by gum, you must shower now and then, right?
Toenails; clip the confounded things. No one wants to see ugly ass toenails that are gnarly and yellow. Or get a chunk taken out of your leg in the night by the saber toothed toe.
Fingernails: see above. And also remember...everything you dig around on? your crack, your nose, your head, your ears...all that stuff collects under the nail. and then, when your in bed, and your mate wants to suck on your fingers for something fun....hey, would YOU want that in YOUR mouth? I think not
Pee: wipe up your dribbles. Otherwise, we might assume you were raised by wild boars. Or we might just think your a lazy asshole. Either way, its not good.
Tampons and pads: roll and wrap, get the damn things out of sight. They stink, they're gross, and they are just downright inappropriate for human interactions after they are removed from you. "be polite, wrap them tight"
Hair: clean your DAMN hair out of the sink. That goes for beard hair, head hair, and pubs. Clean it out of the shower drain, and off the floor. Unless of course, you want someone to collect it in a box, and put it in your next sandwich?
Baldness: do not wear a repulsive toupee. Just paint your stupid head with a spray can if it comes to that. Or take the money you waste on beer, cigarettes, coffee, gaming, sports, etc, and get plugs. Or you could just shave your entire head, and change your name to cueball, chromedome, or sinnead'
Whiskers: if you're a woman, do not I repeat do NOT allow whiskers to reside anywhere on your person at any time. This includes the nipples. Take that extra 5 minutes to do a roving whisker check in the shower. The world will thank you. As for men? If you allow your body to be adorned with whiskers, make sure to use conditioner on them, and check to make sure yesterdays lunch is not tucked deep within. No one wants to kiss a guy with a stinky beard, or mustache. yuck. Be keen, keep it clean
Don't refer to the other as "the old man" or "the old lady" unless of course you enjoy being tied up with duct tape, and placed on the curb for Thursday morning pickup?
When at a social gathering: if you happen to make a bad choice, and ignore your partner? Prepare yourself for WMD. That's "weapons of mass destruction" to you dimbulbs out there, who don't realize that human beings in a committed relationship like ATTENTION from the other person every NOW AND FREAKEN THEN.
Listening: use your listening ears...and your inside voices during all times of conflict, or "discussions" if you are one of those who can only retain 5% of what has been said, bring a dang notepad or record the conversation. Unless of course, you like being taken down to the tracks, laid across them and left for dead.
This message has been brought to you by the citizens for a more satisfying partnership within the confines of a committed relationship. That's CMSPWCCR to you retards who can only think on days that end in I.