whine festGood golly, tis the season to be merry....And have a good whine fest....
My whine is this is the first year since I was 19 that I did not have a honey to exchange gifts with. So I get nothing. Nadda. A big fat NOTHING. I have done Z"ER"O shopping. That is killing me. I love to shop and buy things for people. I hate holidays. I freakin hate them.
There is no where to move onto, but I have an excellent idea. I think in the spirit of singleness, wherein I never venture out to anywhere I could meet men, they only gawk and then keep going because I'm "unapproachable", I think I'll get a job at a coffee shack. I'll just leave the part off my resume about being a magnacumlaude BSW. I want to hear NOTHING about being over qualified. I'm totally qualified for that job. I love coffee and I can sport cleavage and back skin just like the next little hussy.
BRING IT ON BABY
Buckle Jeans, here I come
tramp stamp tattoo artist here i come
push up bra at victorias secret here i come
already got the hair thing going on
just gotta keep it out of the coffee
got the flirt thing
got the coy smile
got the one-liners
hope they have something decent to flash
GOOD GOLLY IS THAT A HAIRLESS MOUSE?????
I'm off my rocker
completely nuts due to holiday depression
tanning doesn't work
buying 9 thousand movies didn't work
drinking starbux til I get diarrhea did not work
alcohol is tabooooooo, I drink and start emailing and calling people
I could go to Tahiti I do have a passport.....hm.....Then there's the money thing, no job, savings dwindling faster than the swirling waters of a flushed toilet....BUT, there is that card which increased my credit limit to 21,000....thats right....they did and I have NO JOB...well thats not entirely true, I clean 2 houses, but uncle sam does not know that and lets not tell him.
hanging OUT at starbux scares me
the same people are there every day and YES I have been approached
run, run, run......
hide in house, for fear of having to tell someone NO, I won't go out with you because I'm a picky little idiot that talks herself out of everyone, and you look like you might be a strangler....or abusive or at the very least like you probably have a skid mark in your underwear.
aint it sad to see? a good woman..sitting alone on Christmas..chalk another heartbreak up to singledom on the holidays...by my own choice of course, lets not forget that.