The Idiot's Guide To Marriage

Thursday, January 25, 2007

29 Things a man over 40 should not do

Breathe out of his mouth
bend over
crack kills
wear suspenders
buy a universal remote control
oh wait, they SHOULD do that, then we only have to look for ONE thing as opposed to 10
Listen to rap
Ride a unicycle
have more than 2 keys on the keyring
eat cocoa puffs for breakfast
wipe properly
wash daily
cry over spilt milk
wonder where his youth has gone
just look at your wife
buy a sportscar
wear boxer briefs
jam out with your 8 track player
attend a high school reunion
take pictures of self
have the wife get glamour shots
do the moonwalk
put up posters of hustler girls in the garage
learn to use the computer
get a cell phone
do any sit ups
learn pilates
play in the balls at mcdonalds
hang a garter from your rearview mirror
wear cateye vaurnets
watch arnold swartzenhager movies


ok is that 29? i'm too lazy to count

7 comment(s):

Damn.

By Blogger Redneck Nerdboy!, at 10:01 AM  

So I better get a unicycle in the next 8 or so years huh? Before it is too late?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:06 PM  

Cocoa puffs are somehow banned for the middle-aged? I think I'll never get there, then. I'm a rebel!

Oh, and one other thing a guy over 40 shouldn't do: talk about women who are much younger than they are, as in "Woo hoo! That 23 year old girl is hot!" Keep your comments in the range of what you can catch. Oh, the obvious exception is for rich guys. They can be fat and nasty and still catch Miss America.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:02 PM  

I agree w/ most of those items but I've just passed the big 3-0 and I don't know WHEN I'm gonna give up rap. I think if you're in your mid-thirties to 40 then you're okay there....

By Blogger Matt, at 3:18 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

By Blogger Matt, at 3:18 PM  

Here's a question, do men date women they think they can catch, all the while wishing for the ones they can't?

By Blogger cathouse teri, at 4:42 PM  

i'm too lazy to count also!

By Blogger Lavender, at 9:49 PM  

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